Blah.

Well, I found out yesterday that they've made some changes to our usual holiday routine here at work. We're going to be "shut down" the entire week of Christmas, W-F is holiday pay and M-Tu we have to use our own vacation time if we have it. I really don't mind that AT ALL...a week off?? They have also decided no more bonuses, this year or any year in the future. That one baffled me because why would you say never again? What if we end up raking in huge profits down the line? Raises, which usually take effect at the beginning of January will now be pushed to February 5.

The biggest change is the Christmas party. I've been to 3 so far and they've all had a DJ, open bar, dinner, etc. This year, it will be a "luncheon" (which I'm sure means meat platters) in our Machine Shop next door! 1 hour! At least give people a few hours to relax?

Oh well. John's company party is sure to be the nicest one we've ever attended. His company is ridiculous with events. Plus, you can get up to 100% of your salary as a Christmas bonus. I don't think John is going to enjoy that benefit until next year because he hasn't been working there long enough. He's still a contractor until 10/31, then he's an actual employee.

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Headed out to dinner and a movie tonight with our friend Jenn and Todd! We have a yearly tradition now where we go see Saw ? This will be the third year in a row...lol But first! - we are going to O'Connor's - can you say YUM? That's our favorite restaurant, hands down. Saturday is all up in the air, we have a photo shoot w/ Jenn, then maybe Xbox night @ Tony's? If not, maybe hanging out w/ some other friends...Apples to Apples anyone? 40 lb. box of rape?

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Our anniversary is Thursday! 4 years! I might scan in some wedding pics, so keep your eyes peeled! We're going to have a nice dinner at Castle Restaurant, where we were married. I love him even more now than I did then! John's the most awesomest supremo perfect hunky lovie dove sugarplum! Hahaha...

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Time to go home yet?!?!?

Punctuality is overrated.

You know, no one has ever accused me of being punctual. I'm late for everything...school, work, interviews, dr. appt.'s (which they don't appreciate, let me tell you). I try to blame this quality of mine on my father. He was always late too - whether it was him coming home late or coming to pick up me and my brother late on the weekends. He always said he'd be there around 6:30 but would show up 8:00-8:30 most of the time. Of course, now I understand that he worked in the car business and you can't always leave when you thought you would be able.

Anyway, I have found a company where my lateness is not really a big deal. I have brought it up myself in reviews and had my boss tell me it doesn't matter because for the time I am in the office they are getting their money's worth out of me. Still, after almost 4 years with this company, if I am on my way to work and I know I am running late, I get nervous. AND - it never fails - if I am running really late (10-20 minutes after 9:00), the President is always here sitting in his office right inside the front door. When I'm on time or early, he's usually late or not in the office that day! He has never said one word to me about what time I get here, but I am always worried that next time he will.

What else is new? I worry about everything.

Turn yourself over.

This past Sunday, John and I accompanied his brother and sister-in-law and 5 of their kids to a "remembrance" event for Children's Hospital. It was held at a conference center owned by Harvard which is pretty much across the street from that hospital. Now, I know everyone has different ways of dealing with grief, but for me...this event was too much. There was so much grief leading up to and surrounding the loss of our amazing nephew Justin that my natural response now is to remember him with joy and know that he is in a much better place and not suffering. I'm struggling to see how such an event is good for anyone in attendance. I understand that the intention is to honor the memory of these children, but I feel like it just re-opens and makes fresh again these most painful wounds. The event consisted of some readings from family members, some sad songs ("I Will Remember You", "There You'll Be" & "Turn, Turn, Turn") sung by a duo and a slideshow of photos of the kids who have lost their lives set to the tunes of "The Rainbow Connection" and "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". It was utterly heart-wrenching...everyone is sobbing and upset all over again. The event ended with everyone going upstairs to a big sunny room to make vases together and have hors d'ouvres. They handed out sunflowers and daffodil bulbs and some keepsake boxes for the kids...and balloons. That part was pleasant and a nice way to commemorate the kids, but I don't know about the auditorium part which was just perfectly orchestrated to break your heart.

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I have applied to an Engineering program at a local college. I am sick of being someone's bitch and I know nothing is going to change unless I get some kind of degree. I know I've wasted about 10 years but I figure I have many more than that ahead of me during which I'll be working...so I might as well do something I'll enjoy. I dropped out of high school after 11th grade because I wasn't going to be able to graduate with my class without taking some summer classes after graduation. I guess I thought if I couldn't have it my way I was going to ditch...pretty much the way I handle everything in my life. I'm working on it. Anyway, I got my GED shortly thereafter and took 4 classes at a local college which I thoroughly enjoyed but I was sucked back into the workforce and never went back. Well, here goes!

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I should be getting a promotion at work anyday now...which is good because my schedule is about to become a whole lot more flexible. It is currently 9-5, M-F but only because someone has to be in this building until 5...I'll be moving next door to another building where that rule does not apply.

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Wow, I really have a LOT of work I should be doing...