Back to work with my eye on the weekend!

First day back to work after the 4-day weekend went well. I'm glad it's already Wednesday! We really weren't too busy but I was able to stretch the work so that the day didn't drag too badly. I notified work that my last day would be 11/11/11 (my hubby's birthday!) unless the baby turned, in which case I might work longer. This means I only have to work the rest of this week and two more weeks! Yay! I am so ready for a much needed break from work at the dealership! I understand my new "job" will be demanding but it will also be very rewarding. I'm so excited!

Came home to a delicious dinner of homemade boneless buffalo chicken! John makes the best dinners...I'm really lucky! The chicken is one of his specialties, and definitely my current favorite! I'm gonna have to learn how to cook so I can make him some delicious dinners when I'm home with Vincent. Aaaaaah, I'm gonna be a Mom!

Really looking forward to this weekend. On Saturday, the ladies from my church are throwing me a baby shower! It was totally unexpected and I feel a little weird since I don't really socialize with any of them so I don't know any of them very well. They asked me if it would be okay if they threw me a shower and said that they love welcoming new babies! How could I say no? It's pot luck so everyone's going to bring something to eat and my mom is still trying to decide what to make. I asked her to come with me because she's much more social than I am so she will make me more comfortable. :) My big dilemma is what to wear. I might go out Friday night and see if I can find a dress somewhere.

Then, on Sunday, John and I are going to have dinner at The Castle! It's our 7 year anniversary and we go there for dinner every year since that's where we were married. Their food is delicious and I LOVE the creme brulee. One good thing about this year is that our bill should be a little smaller since we won't be adding a bottle of red wine! I think we're going to try the Chateaubriand this year. It's prepared at your table and of all the times we've gone there, we've never had it. Here we are last year at our dinner:

::sigh:: I love him SO much! Can't wait for our date this year!

Cerclage Removal & Baby Plans!

First, the cerclage removal!

On Monday morning, John and I headed out to Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston for my cerclage removal. After having read one too many message board posts, I was petrified that it was going to hurt and hurt badly. I kept telling John, "I feel like I'm going to puke." because I was so nervous, ha! Once we got there, we checked in and I signed the forms that say if the doctor kills or maims me it's not her fault. In the waiting room, I was too nervous to even play games on my phone. Instead, I just sat there looking at the walls, out the window (spectacular view of Boston from the 10th floor, btw) and occasionally, the TV. Finally, my name was called! On the way to the room the nurse asked me if I'd be getting anesthesia. I shrugged because I really wasn't sure as my doctor had told me that it would probably be a quick, painless procedure. the second nurse to see me asked me the same thing...so then I started getting nervous thinking that maybe it's more common to get anesthesia than not?? Anyway, they put the baby on the monitor and he looked great and then my doctor came in.

All modesty was thrown out the window as I assumed the position and waited for the worst. I'm not gonna lie, it was not comfortable by any means. However, just about the moment I was going to say, "Ouch", it was done. A little pinching and cramping for maybe 5 seconds. The doctor knew exactly what she was doing and she intentionally did it quickly, thank goodness! Good news is that my cervix was still completely shut! We asked if we could keep the stitch and she gladly put it into a biohazard bag for us. :) Here I am (happy and relieved) posing with the stitch that I wore for 25 weeks!

After the removal, they put the baby back on the monitor for 20 minutes and once again, he looked great! My doctor also did an ultrasound and confirmed (no big surprise) that he is still breech. We walked the halls for a half hour to see if I would have any contractions and John made a new friend. It's a flat gnat...and he makes me laugh!

Since I did not have any contractions, we were released to go home! I was sad because it's the last time I'll see my high-risk OB until after I have Vincent and we bring him to visit her. :) We paid for parking, $10 WITH validation and headed to the car where I discovered some D-Bag had parked like this next to us:

Whatever.

On to 99 for my faaaaaavorite food since I've been pregnant! Boneless Buffalo Wings! Can you say yum?!?

We came home after that and watched The Guard,

which was freaking HILARIOUS. I highly recommend. Highly. Brendan Gleeson is simply genius. If you haven't seen anything with him, do yourself a favor and watch this...or watch In Bruges,

another hilarious movie! :)

Today, we saw the regular OB and got a date for the c-section! The doc said if he remains "bass-ackwards", then we'll have to do the surgery. So, the date is November 17th! Unless he wants to turn around, that is the day I will meet my baby boy! 23 days away!

I feel like we are totally prepared. As far as around the house goes, we have everything we need for him here. As for in the hospital, I feel like we have made all the important decisions we'll need to make right away. I'm still reading the Dr. Sears Vaccine Book, but the only vaccine they like to give in the hospital is Hepatitis B, which my son will NOT be receiving. I do not have it, John does not have it and my baby will not be sexually active for a LONG time, therefore he is not at risk right now. This is not to say that I won't let him get the vaccine when he's older but he doesn't need it as a newborn. The only other big decision is circumcision, which was not really even up for debate with us. Not only does our religion blatantly state that it's unnecessary here and in many other places, I find it to be extremely barbaric and completely unnecessary (physically, hygienically and medically). Why Americans feel it is okay to do this to their newborn sons while decrying the traditions of other cultures where it is acceptable for little girls to be "mutilated" is beyond me. If you think it's okay for boys, then you should think it's okay for girls. Who would think of cutting their newborn girl's genitals? I just want people to think about it. But, I digress. We can only make this decision for our own son.

After a lovely Fall evening stroll with my adoring husband, we are in for the night to relax!

Saturday Adventures

I was really excited for the weekend all week long. With promises of sun and 60 degree weather, I assumed John and I would get to spend some time outdoors maybe feeding the ducks or going for a walk. Where did the clouds and showers come from?! Grr.

Anyhoo, on Saturday morning, we headed out to Shrewsbury for an electronics recycling event at United Bank. We were able to unload 4 CRT monitors, an old a/c unit, cables and a broken VCR/DVD Player. John hauled all of it down two flights of stairs late Friday night and somehow fit it all into my Civic (2 of the monitors were 21" CRT's...so they were gigantic!). When we pulled into the bank, we saw that there were drop off stations scattered every 20' or so. We were directed to a group of 3 guys, so John pulled up to them and popped the trunk. Before he could even get out of the car, one guy had already gotten a monitor and the VCR/DVD Player out of the back seat and the other two were grabbing the stuff from the trunk! Within 15 seconds, the car was empty! And it was free! Score! Here's what one of the piles looked like...

It was crazy, they were just chucking monitors left and right!

After that, we decided to do some shopping (my favorite)! But first, lunch! We went to Ruby Tuesday where John got salad bar + veggie trio (zucchini, green beans & mashed cauliflower) and I got salad bar + cheddar broccoli soup. The soup was divine...it was more like melted cheese than "broth", yum. Look how healthy we are!

Since we were already in the plaza, we went to AC Moore to see if we could find a poster frame. I had a 50% off coupon but the frames were already on sale so I couldn't use one. Our options were either cheapy $10 frames, much like the one we are trying to replace because it sucks, OR big fancy $40 frames. Needless to say, we walked out empty handed. We'll keep looking and find something eventually...otherwise the poster in Vincent's room is going to come down. I can't have a jacked up frame hanging on my boy's wall!

Next stop, Target! I get Luna bars there because no one sells them cheaper...AND you know I couldn't go in there without perusing the baby section. We ended up with a couple of packages of baby wipes because I had coupons($1 off and $.75 off)along with some washable/reusable breast pads for me - how glamourous, huh?

On to Burlington Coat Factory. I had a 20% off coupon and we intended to purchase a car seat for John's car. We wanted one that would go from 5-65 lbs. that would remain installed in his vehicle (not an infant carrier). Their selection SUCKED so we went to another Burlington and all they had was baby clothing...no car seats whatsoever. We ended up buying a book of Bible stories for $8.00 after the coupon.

::sigh:: Since we were in the area, we went to the new plaza in Northborough where the famous "Wegman's" grocery store is. Oooooh. ::eye roll:: We hit the Babies/Toys "R" Us first to look at car seats. I also had a 20% off coupon for that store PLUS a $21 merch credit. We checked out the car seats, read some reviews and bought one!! After coupon and merch credit we only paid $104 and it will last until Vincent is 65 lbs (or thereabouts)! Here it is!

It's the Evenflo Triumph 65 LX. Loves it!

After that, we went to Wegman's and I was NOT in the mood for what we encountered. After waiting 20 minutes for a parking spot, we ventured into the madhouse. There were people everywhere, aisles clogged, just a ton of commotion. We had friends coming over Sunday for dinner, so we decided to see what they had for roasts. When we got to the meat section, it was literally "bumper to bumper" carts. I found a spot at the end of a display, parked our cart and told John I would wait while he went to look. There were 2 lanes of carts going by either side of me, but I was within the boundaries of the end of the display so I wasn't blocking anyone. Well...along comes a lady who wants to cut through where I'm standing and you would think that any normal person would simply say, "Excuse me." Had she done that, I would have gladly stepped aside! However, she proceeded to nudge me with her cart...3x before I looked at her. I stepped aside but when she got near me I said, "Nice way to say excuse me!" She is SO lucky she didn't say anything back to me because I swear I was ready to go off. Do not nudge an 8-months-pregnant lady with your cart if you want to live! I felt my face getting hot so when John came back I told him I wanted out of there ASAP! We made a quick stop in the soda aisle because all Coke 12-packs were 5/$11.00. We got Diet Barq's, Cherry Fresca, Fanta Zero, Cherry Coke Zero and Caff. Free Diet Coke! Score! I couldn't care less if we ever return to the store though...it's overpriced for one thing, and the crowds make shopping there quite unpleasant. The only thing they have going for them is their selection. You can get anything and everything there...but don't expect a discount unless you're buying the Wegman's generics.

After that, HOME! We had some dinner, watched some TV, John put up blinds and valances in Vincent's room and we went to bed. It was a crazy busy day but we got a lot done. :)

Oh, and I SWEAR I had a contraction last night when we were cleaning around the house. I hadn't had much water to drink all day and all the moving around got to me. Whoever says a contraction is like a menstrual cramp, YOU LIE. I can see how it could be perceived as similar to one...but it is definitely its own unique sensation. It gave me a taste of what labor could be like and I'm really not psyched about it, haha! Anyway, after some water and resting while reading The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears, I was fine and I didn't have any more.

Long blog, whew!

Is it 5:00 yet?

This has not been a great morning at work. I really try to stay calm and not let things get to me, but sometimes things just pile up one after another until I'm ready to snap! I know my tolerance for BS is diminished these days, so it requires some extra effort to keep my mouth in check. Only a few more weeks, right? :)

My co-worker Kimber surprised me with a couple of Luna bars this morning! She went to the new Wegman's and found a couple flavors she knows I like. John and I are looking forward to checking out the store - I hear that it's pretty awesome. Sounds like a regular grocery store mixed with a Whole Foods, AND I heard it's pretty much like a restaurant in there. You can get everything from subs to sushi! We'll probably wait until after the holidays to venture out there. From what I hear, it's still pretty busy and I don't do well with crowded places in my current state...or with people stopping and blocking aisles! :P

John and I have a long weekend! It's going to be beautiful out too! 60 degrees and sunny! We're going to try to spend some time outdoors, maybe feed the ducks up at Green Hill Park. :) On Sunday, our friends Chester & Tammy will be coming over to have lunch and hang out and we get to meet their baby Joshua for the first time! I'm so excited! I AM nervous about the cerclage removal on Monday, but still glad to have 4 days off with my Sweetie! We're hoping to get some last minute cleaning and organizing done around the house and we will be packing a bag JUST IN CASE something should happen on Monday. I don't want to be in Boston completely unprepared.

I'm off to have lunch with Kimber in the lunchroom! Need to get away from this blasted desk.

Reflection and Preparation

Life is about to change forever and I couldn't be more excited about it! As the arrival of my son approaches, I find myself looking back on the journey that's gotten us here. It's been a long and emotionally trying 6 years and sometimes I still can't believe it has finally happened for us. I'm thankful that we live in this day and age - had we been born 50 years earlier, this dream would have remained unfulfilled. We have been truly blessed and it's only going to get better!

John has built all of the essential items for Vincent. He assembled the crib, travel system, pack and play, swing and high chair! I built the bouncer and did all the laundry! At this point, we are ready for him as far as supplies go. Whether we are ready mentally is another story! I've not spent much time around newborn babies so this is going to be a learn as we go situation. We have plenty of books, but I'm sure there are some things where you just have to be hands-on to learn! Wish us luck!

On Monday, the cerclage will be removed! I am a bit nervous because I've read that it can be a less than pleasant experience if your body has started to "grow" around it. Let's hope that is not the case and I am one of the lucky ones for whom the removal is painless and easy! Once it's out, there is a 5% chance I will go into labor right away. Since I have not had any contractions or changes, I highly doubt that will happen.

The countdown is on!

A fine day.

We woke up to the sound of our smoke detector chirping above us in the bedroom. Time for a new 9 volt. John to the rescue! I caught some more z's as he went about his husbandly duty. :)

We rolled out of town around 2:00 and headed to Dudley for lunch at Eighty Ates! We had a leftover $25 gift card AND a coupon for a free appetizer that expired 7/30/10. Our waitress changed it to 7/30/11 and we had some free boneless buffalo wings, bam! If you haven't gone there yet, I highly recommend it. We've only gone twice, but the food has been really delicious. I got the Portobella Chicken today with broccoli and everything was yummy and cooked to perfection!

After that, we headed up to Showcase Cinemas Worcester North and saw The King's Speech. It was one of the best movies I've ever seen! I love a movie that makes me FEEL, and this movie did that throughout. I laughed, I got teary-eyed, I felt compassion, sorrow, joy... If you get a chance, please see the movie, I guarantee you will enjoy it a ton!

We're getting ready for the deep-freeze here. John is going to cook up a batch of Atkins-friendly chili tomorrow and we're gonna snuggle up in our little Hobbit hole and stay warm! I am hearing a range of numbers as far as how many inches and/or feet of snow we are supposed to get this week. God, I really hope it's not going to be 2'+! If so, there's no way I'm venturing out of this house. I do love New England and I do love the snow, but I don't like moving the snow...ha! Lucky for me, I have a landlord who clears the driveway and front walk and a hubby who clears the snow off my car. :D

Here I go again!

I'm going to start blogging again. I blogged like crazy in 2007-2009 and then life threw some stuff at me that caused me to stall. There I've been, sitting idly, waiting for things, life to feel normal again.

It still doesn't.

But I must start some kind of forward motion because I'm honestly sick of the scenery where I sit. So, where am I going? Well...

In the immediate future - nowhere fast. I'm still contemplating going back to school but it won't be until next year.

I've just been lost since September 2009. I'm stuck in a dead-end job making shit for money and the kicker is, I'm not particularly eager to leave. I really enjoy my job and my coworkers but the reality is, I should & could be doing much more. The job was only supposed to be temporary until our son was born...then I was going to be a stay-at-home mom AND do some work at home for the dealership. Then, everything went away.

There has been no forward motion. A numb that comes with time masks grief but I wonder what damage it continues to do under the surface.

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This blog was not supposed to be like this. I want to start fresh and talk about something other than:

-Anxiety
-Depression
-Miscarriage

And yet, I find it difficult to find much else inside here. Where have I gone?