This past Sunday, John and I accompanied his brother and sister-in-law and 5 of their kids to a "remembrance" event for Children's Hospital. It was held at a conference center owned by Harvard which is pretty much across the street from that hospital. Now, I know everyone has different ways of dealing with grief, but for me...this event was too much. There was so much grief leading up to and surrounding the loss of our amazing nephew Justin that my natural response now is to remember him with joy and know that he is in a much better place and not suffering. I'm struggling to see how such an event is good for anyone in attendance. I understand that the intention is to honor the memory of these children, but I feel like it just re-opens and makes fresh again these most painful wounds. The event consisted of some readings from family members, some sad songs ("I Will Remember You", "There You'll Be" & "Turn, Turn, Turn") sung by a duo and a slideshow of photos of the kids who have lost their lives set to the tunes of "The Rainbow Connection" and "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". It was utterly heart-wrenching...everyone is sobbing and upset all over again. The event ended with everyone going upstairs to a big sunny room to make vases together and have hors d'ouvres. They handed out sunflowers and daffodil bulbs and some keepsake boxes for the kids...and balloons. That part was pleasant and a nice way to commemorate the kids, but I don't know about the auditorium part which was just perfectly orchestrated to break your heart.
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I have applied to an Engineering program at a local college. I am sick of being someone's bitch and I know nothing is going to change unless I get some kind of degree. I know I've wasted about 10 years but I figure I have many more than that ahead of me during which I'll be working...so I might as well do something I'll enjoy. I dropped out of high school after 11th grade because I wasn't going to be able to graduate with my class without taking some summer classes after graduation. I guess I thought if I couldn't have it my way I was going to ditch...pretty much the way I handle everything in my life. I'm working on it. Anyway, I got my GED shortly thereafter and took 4 classes at a local college which I thoroughly enjoyed but I was sucked back into the workforce and never went back. Well, here goes!
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I should be getting a promotion at work anyday now...which is good because my schedule is about to become a whole lot more flexible. It is currently 9-5, M-F but only because someone has to be in this building until 5...I'll be moving next door to another building where that rule does not apply.
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Wow, I really have a LOT of work I should be doing...
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