Wonderstruck with awe

I am sitting here awestruck.

I am a mother.

If you only knew how long I wanted this. If you only knew how all the odds were stacked against us. He is a miracle. A fighter. A conqueror. A Vincent. :)

When I was young, I would say that I was never going to have children simply because of the pain of childbirth. How childish. Then, I was in a relationship with a psycho lunatic and it just made me even surer that I never wanted to have children. Thank goodness I didn't back then! In 2001, when I met John, it all changed. I instantly, instinctively knew he was "The One". I knew he would be my husband and the father of my children.

And what a lucky woman am I. I can't even begin to form a string of words that will adequately convey how much I love him and what an outstanding example of a MAN he is. I know I'm not always an easy woman to be with but you'd never know it. In over 10 years, he's never said a bad word about or to me. Never lost his temper. He's always been so supportive, even on my craziest days. He's been the only one who could calm my racing mind, my stampeding heart and all my fears. And now, to see him as a father is wonderful. Love you, Sweetie. <3

You think it's going to be easy. You think you'll be just like everyone else. You think you'll just get married, wait a while and have kids whenever you're ready. It'll just happen right? Not always.

The journey to this beautiful boy brought me from hope to the absolute depths of despair to pure, light, sunshiny joy!

Hope.
Fear.
Depression.
Despair.
Hope.
Joy.
Devastation.
Anxiety/Fear/Worry/Stress/Depression.
Hope.
Joy.
Elation.

He's here. He made it against the odds. He was the strongest. He is perfect!

I have yet to fully understand why, just why did it have to be so hard? And, why is our beloved Calvin not with us, John, Vincent and me. He's a missing piece and I miss him.

Looking forward - I can't wait to spend the rest of my life watching Vincent grow and learn. Hopefully, he won't be our only child but one can never know what the future holds.

<3